Strike Fantasy Towers
Friday Night Inferno™
With Emily and Jake
12/27/02
Friday Night 8:00pm Live From Quebec

Jake: Well Emily, welcome to a short edition of Inferno, now before we begin let me tell you that earlier on today we had a chance to sit down and have a chat with the man that made his return to the SFT last week on Inferno, of course i'm talking about Crip known collectivly to some as "tha gangSTAR".

Emily: I certainly did Jake, and after thew break we'll take a look at that footage. All I can say, is never again will I be caught alone within ten feet of that man.

Jake: No, you certainly don't. We'll see what Emily means when we return.

(Commercial Break)

Jake: As we promised, we will now look at the interview from earlier today with Crip conducted by my colleage Emily.

Emily : I just want to stress what a bitter, paranoid asshole that Crip is. In all my years in the business, I have not come across someone so hypocritical, so synical, so...Well, you'll have to see for yourselves.

(A shot appears upon the Strike-Tron, the camera zooms into it. In a dimly lit hotel loby we see Terror commerntator Shawn Cage sitting in a floral leisure chair alongside "tha gangSTAR" Crip who at the moment is standing about a foot in front of a similar chair. A fireplace roars behind the two and the tone seems to be set for a nice informative interview.)

Emily : Well, first Crip, let me thank you for joining us, I'm sure your schedual is pretty jam packed around this time of year...

Crip: Now what's that supposed to mean Emily? Are you impyling I'm busy robbing liquor stores? Stealing cars? Running a boot leg stereo ring? Participating in a multi-million dollar telemarketing scam? Why don't you just come right out and say it Shawn? CRIP IS BUSY COMMITING FELONIES!!!!! There I said it! Is that what you wanted to hear, Shawn?(Crip is now shouting at the top of his lungs) Are you happy now that I have admitted my part in organized crime? Your a sick, sick bastard Shawn.

Emily: But Crip, I only meant you'd be busy celebrating the holidays, like the rest of us. In fact I had no idea you were involved in anyth...

Crip: Oh. (calmly) My bad.

Emily: Well then Crip, let me first ak you about your sudden return to the company, and more specificly your words last week on Inferno. There is no doubt that you had some choice words for us all last week, but would you care to elaborate on exactly why your here?

Crip: Why I'm here? You don't understand why Crip is here? It's clear as day why I'm here. I'm here, back in the SFT, for one reason and one reason only, and that's to take what is mine. To take what the powers that be so despratly don't want me to obtain, and that is the one thing that has always eluded me here, The SFT World Championship.

Emily: The World Title, Crip? That's a bold statement coming from someone whose yet to compete in a match. Might I remind you Crip that your contract was signed less than a week ago? With all due respect, perhaps you should be a bit more realistic in your immediate goals.

Crip: Are you done? Are you finished disrespecting me Emily? Go ahead and finish Shawn, go ahead and finish spitting on the entire african american race.

Emily: But Crip, I was merely saying...

Crip: I don't care what you saying Senetor Lott, your missing the bigger picture. I don't care what the odds are, or whose supposedly ahead of me in the game. The proof is in the puddin' son. I intend to come out herre' week after week, night after night, match after match, to shove that puddin' staright down yall's throats. It may take a year, it may take a month, it may take a week, but make no mistake, Crip's time in the spotlight is comin'. I don't care what any of yall oppressors thinks, I've delt with yall my entire life. As a matter of fact, I am sure that the powers that be are already formulating a plot to stop me.

Emily: The powers that be?

Crip: That's right Emily, The powers that be. Every suit in the corperate office wants nothing more than to see me fail, to see me hauled off back to prison like a government mule.

Emily: A government mule? That's crazy talk.

Crip: Am I the one thats crazy? Or is it everyone else? We can debate that until the mother fuckin' drunks come home, but it serves no point. Crazy or sane, clean or sober, There isn't a damn thing any of these markerting directors, lawyers, presidents, media journalists, hot dog vendors, wrestlers, or fans can do to prevent the inevitable.

Emily: And what exactly would the inevitable be?

Crip: Damn it! Haven't you been paying attention to a word I've said? That's the problem with people like you Emily, you have no attention span. For all you know, the inevitable is the god damn season finale of Friends. Pay attention. The inevitable event I speak of, is the triumph of "tha gangSTAR" in my personal quest to become the champion!

Emily: Oh yes that's right, forgive me. With such ambitious goals set already, let me ask you again, what brings you here today? Do you have business with anyone on Terror?

Crip: There you go making accusations again! I never said a word about attackin' nobody! I don't have to take this from you! You have no proof that I am here to run Doom down with my Caddi! There is no way for you to prove that I'm here to abduct Incubus' 3 month old child! Or to steal Syd Synergy's wallet and major credit cards! In this country even the black man is innocent until proven guilty Sean! Unless your gonna pull out a badge, read my my rights, and arrest me for the drugs in my pocket, I'm outta here! You'll be hearing from my lawyer!

(Crip gets up and walks away, as the shot fades back to the arena)

Emily: You see what I mean? That guy is a basketcase.

Jake: It certainly seems that way. No sign of him yet here tonight.

Emily: I certainly hope it stays that way.

Jake: Well, we're set for our next match

The match starts off with all the wrestlers in the ring. The bell rings and its total chaos. Bodies are flying everywhere as we see Claiborne is the first to bounce out of the ring and get disqualified.

Jake: Well a fitting way for Claiborne to exit SFT.

Emily: Eh she did it on purpose, she doesnt want to get hurt and lose her contract in that other fed.

Jake: suurrrrrrrre whatever.

Emily: Whatever indeed.

We see Insanity nail Xero with a suplex then does a modified slingshot suplex! The whole ring shakes and Manik Depression almost gets bounced right out of the ring.

Dark Archer tries to get to Insanity obviously noticing who the stronger man is, but Depression stops him and they brawl for a while.

Jake: Damn Insanity he almost broke the ring.

Insanity climbs the ropes and powerbombs Xero off the top of the rope unto the concrete. Medical personell rush to Xero's aid to see if he is ok.

Emily: Oh my God did he just.....oh god ive never seen that, and I never want to see that again.

Jake: That will play in highlight videos for years to come.

Dark Archer somehow manages to get Depression down but Insanity cooly strolls over to Dark Archer and hits a Stunner then follows it up by a powerslam, Insanity picks up Dark Archer and just flings him out of the ring as Dark Archer collides with the steel barricade.

Emily: Oh my, now only 2 men remain.

Manik Depression smiles as he extends his hand to Insanity they shake hands as they signal for the bell. They celebrate for a moment then exit the ring.

Jake: What happened?

Emily: Looks like Tactical Assault are content with both of them winning, but the real winner was Insanity.

Winner: Tactical Assualt

Match starts off but both men are like molasses in the ring, too slow for either to do much damage. From the rampway a man comes running down and starts attacking both men, he knocks out both Jeff and Dux and leaves them lying in a pool of their own blood, from the top of the rampway we see Duke Snyder with a mic "ladies and gentleman meet my tag team partner....Rusty Nailz!!!!!!!"

Winner: No Contest

Jake: Wow what a letdown, by the vets. These two put it all on the line and failed miserably.

(Both Jeff and John are recovering from the beatdown, each trying to get to their feet and regain sense. Neither man seems to be paying attention to each other or the fact that a crazed black man has leaped over the security baracade with a steel chair in hand.)

Emily: Oh great (sarcasticly), It's Crip.

Jake: Uh oh Emily, business is picking up.

Emily: Just keep that guy away from me.

(Crip slides into the ring behind both Doom and Incucus, and quietly rises to his feet like a theif in the night.)

Emily: What's he gonna do here? What is the purpose of this Jake?

Jake: I guess it's gang related violence.

(Like a cat, Crip lunges forward and swings the chair with fury, tagging Jeff hard across the back. Jeff immediatly drops to the ground from the sneak attack. Upon seeing John Dux turns to defend himself, but is struck to soon by a stinging chair shot to the forhead. John Dux falls to one knee, but is brought to the same state as Jeff Savage after yet another shot, this one drilling Incucus across the back. Both men lay motionless in the ring, as Crip slowly raises the chair back above his head dramaticly. Crip looks back and forth at the two, as if trying to decide to hit first. The crowd boos in disappoval bus Crip remains focused.)

Emily: Enough is enough! This is ridiculous, what a cheap shot this would be. Can't we get some decent security? Get this guy outta here!'

Jake: Settle down Emily.

(Crip swings the chair down, crashing into the spine of the fallen Jeff Savage. Crip seems to be in a violent trance, a sadistic smile coming over his face. Crip drops the chair suddenly, and finds his way to the ropes where he demands a microphone. Upon recieving one, he makes his way to the middle of the ring and happily looks down on the human trainwreck he's caused.)

Crip: You two!!! You two call that a main event? A main event? Isn't a main event supposed to be exciting? Isn't a main event supposed to make the rest of this pathetic card easier to swallow? You two call yourselves main eventers? What a joke, I laid your punk asses flat on the ground simply for boring a brotha! The fact of the matter is that the only main event pf this evening is the flash photography oppertunity these lucky people are getting with me in the ring! Boo me all you want, you should be thanking me! Thanking for picking up Tuesday Terror and carrying it out of the gutter. Without me, you people would be piling out of this arena right now feeling cheated by these two assholes! I am the main event, and from now on yall better get used to it! There ain't no one that can stop me either! you hear me Emily!? No One!

(Just then, new life is restored in the fans as the owner of the SFT Shadow steps through the curtain with a microphone in his hand.)

Emily: It's Shadow!!! The boss is here!!!

Jake: Finaly! Maybe some order will be restored!

(Shadow waits for the crowd volume to simmer before adressing "tha gangSTAR")

Shadow: What's the matter Crip? You look like you've seen a ghost. You know Crip, you seem real anxious to fight, real anxious to start trouble.

Crip: Yo' what's your point Pops?

Shadow: It's a good thing Crip, because this Saturday I've got a tough opponent lined up for you tommorrow night!

Crip: Your pretty dramatic Pops, did ya ever think of pursuing an acting career? Why cut that hippy hair of yours, you could be the next Rick Moranis.

Shadow: Silence! You have a lot of nerv...

Crip: Actually, you'd be closer to Steve Guttenburg. You know? From Police Academy? You better run old man, Hollywood's callin'. Don't forget to tune into Slaughter though, you don't wanna miss gang related violence taking your company to the streets.

Shadow: Talk all you want boy, but be ready to reap what you sew.

(The show ends with Crip and Shadow staring at each other angrily.)

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