Slaughter Opening

[The scene opens to an undisclosed arena as the lights flash and the camera zooms around the crowd. The fans calm down as they see President Facilitator on the StrikeTron. As he enters the arena, he is informed that Vice President Nathan Gust is waiting for him in his office. He sighs as he continues down the hallway. When he gets to his office, he can smell something rotten.]

Facilitator: Oh no... he's back to his old tricks...

[He opens the door and a hideous aroma fills the air. Inside, Nathan Gust is laughing.]

Nathan Gust: Dude...

Facilitator: What do you want?

Nathan Gust: Well... now that I'm Vice President... I get to do more stuff. So... I'm going to take Slaughter off of your hands.

Facilitator: Listen... I know you have the right to do almost anything here in SFT now... but remember that Slaughter is still my show.

Nathan Gust: Fine. Have it your way. I'm going to go give some encouragement to some of the talent. I'll see you later.

Facilitator: I am saddened by that.

Nathan Gust: Ha ha. Words. Many.

[The Vice President leaves the room and the scene goes to Jessie Jobber and John Cartwright, who are sitting at their usual announcer's position.]

Jessie Jobber: Well now... our new Vice President is in the building and he wants to cause some trouble. I can only imagine what will happen tonight.

John Cartwright: Probably not much. We got two boring matches.

Jessie Jobber: I'm getting word from the back... that Nathan Gust is in the locker room of... the Lotus Pod?! No way!

BACKSTAGE

[We see the Vice President standing in front of Knife and Phantom, who apparently still hate Gust for his cruel words towards them in the past.]

Nathan Gust: Guys... you disappoint me. Adam Payne and I kick your asses... and you screw us out of the Tag Team Titles. Now... you, Phantom, aren't even prepared for your match against Incubus.

Phantom: But... I think I pulled a muscle in my groin.

Nathan Gust: I don't care if you pulled a muscle in your face. You are going to go out there for your match.

Knife: You can't do that!

Nathan Gust: Yes I can. You know what else I can do? I can make you go out there, too.

Phantom: Oh... me likes handicap matches. Didn't we lose that one against Fugitive though?

Nathan Gust: It won't be a handicap match. Knife, you'll be facing an unnamed opponent after Phantom's match. Be ready for it.

Knife: But... but...

Nathan Gust: Shh! Don't speak! The more you speak... the more I want you to choke on oxygen. Good luck, Phantom. You're going to need it as you face Incubus next... in a chain match!

[Phantom looks worried as Mr. Guts leaves the office.]

RINGSIDE

[Back at ringside, Cartwright is laughing his ass off.]

Jessie Jobber: What's so funny?

John Cartwright: I am beginning to enjoy Nathan Gust's presence here on Slaughter.

Jessie Jobber: Right... well... let's take a break for a few words from our sponsors.

[The scene fades to commercials.]

[The fans give a mixed reaction as smoke fills the stage and Incubus lingers out. He staggers down the ramp and he slides into the ring. He straps himself into one end of the chain as he awaits his much larger opponent. As the smoke clears, the bells begin to toll as "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica begins to play. The fans go almost silent as they see the gigantic Phantom walk out. He runs down the ramp and he slides his large self in. Before he can even strap himself into the other end of the chain, Incubus blasts him in the face with a balled up fist of chain.]

Jessie Jobber: Ouch!

[Incubus straps Phantom onto the other end of the chain and the opening bell finally rings. Incubus gets Phantom up and he throws him into the corner. He then runs to the opposite corner, making Phantom smack head first onto the mat. He lifts him up off of the ground once more and he wraps his fist in chain. He swings back and knocks Phantom right between the eyes, sending the big man down to the mat again.]

John Cartwright: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! Phantom is out.

Jessie Jobber: Incubus wins! Whooooo!

John Cartwright: You are very observant. Anyway... Facilitator is backstage talking with Rando Sun. So... let's watch what's happening.

[The cameras fade to the back as Incubus is leaving the ring.]

WINNER OF THIS MATCH: INCUBUS via knockout!

BACKSTAGE

[In Rando Sun's locker room, Facilitator is shaking the hand of the former two time Tag Team Champion.]

Facilitator: It's good to have you back with us. I hope you enjoy your match against Crip.

[Rando thanks Facilitator, who then leaves the locker room. As the door closes, from behind comes Nathan Gust with a smile.]

Nathan Gust: Rando! How ya doin'? That's just great. I wanted to inform you that your match against Crip is a street fight. I guess I forgot to announce that earlier. Oh well. Good luck!

[Rando shakes his head with a smile as Gust leaves the room. The scene fades to commercials.]

RINGSIDE

[As we get back from commercials, "One More Minute" by Authority Zero plays as our Vice President Nathan Gust walks out onto the ramp with a microphone.]

Nathan Gust: Knife... it's time for your match! Get your sorry ass out here!

["Take It" by Insane Clown Posse plays as Knife walks out. He looks Gust in the eyes and he looks like he's about to kick the VP's ass.]

Nathan Gust: Hold on... I'm not your opponent... but he is...

[Out of nowhere, Adam Payne comes with a chair shot to the back of Knife's skull.]

Nathan Gust: Let the games begin!

[Gust kicks Knife in the face and he walks backstage.]

Match Number Two
KNIFE vs. ADAM PAYNE
Impromptu Match

[Payne slams Knife's face into the chair several times before letting him up.]

Jessie Jobber: I see blood!

John Cartwright: No kidding! He just slammed Knife's head into a chair!

[Payne slams Knife's face into the chair several times before letting him up. He sets up the chair and he throws Knife into the StrikeTron, sending him bouncing back to get his face slammed into the chair once more. He lifts Knife up again and he takes him to the edge of the stage. He looks down at the tables that just happened to be set up and he smiles. He delivers a double arm underhook spinning sit-down facebuster - which he calls Infinite Payne - to Knife off of the stage and throw the tables.]

Jessie Jobber: Oh my God! Knife was just broken in two!

John Cartwright: So were the tables. Big deal.

[Gust walks out again with a microphone.]

Nathan Gust: Yo, Adam, I think he's had enough. Save your anger for Titans.

[Unruly Conflict walk backstage as EMT's and Phantom run out to help Knife.]

Jessie Jobber: Well... that was fun...

John Cartwright: Sure. Can we start the main event already? I'm getting sick of this nonsense.

Jessie Jobber: Gee... aren't we a bit cranky...

John Cartwright: No... we aren't... but I am.

[Knife is taken backstage. No entrance music plays for the next match.]

WINNER OF THIS MATCH: NOBODY via stoppage!

Match Number Three
CRIP vs. RANDO SUN
Street Fight

[The bell rings as Rando Sun and Crip are seen falling through the curtain towards the ring. Rando Sun takes Crip down with a stiff clothesline and looks around and pulls a pipe down from the set scaffolding. Crip gets to his feet to receive a led pipe shot to the sternum followed by a led pipe white Russian legsweep. Crip rolls around on the stage holding the back of his head. As Rando begins to violently stomp Crip as blood begins to drip from the mouth of the "gangSTAR".]

Jessie Jobber: OOOH! Crip is bleeding… yay!

John Cartwright: The "gangSTAR" is bleeding internally from that vicious led pipe shot.

[Rando Sun picks up the fallen Crip, but Crip fights back with a swift kick to the lower regions on Rando Sun, Rando doubles over and Crip hits a nasty DDT sending Rando Sun's head into the steel stage. Crip hovers over Rando Sun and begins to yell at him before he makes his way to ringside and lifts up the apron drapery to pull out a garbage can and hockey stick. Rando begins to wobble to his feet, once he realizes what is going on, he sprints down to ringside to attack Crip, only to be met by a brutal hockey stick shot that echoes throughout the arena. The stick breaks in half and Rando Sun crumbles to the padded ringside area as Crip holds his hands in the air for huge heat from the fans.]

John Cartwright: What a vile shot to the head of Rando Sun! This match is brutal, but I like it!

Jessie Jobber: Mmmmm… street fight… shut up Johnny! They are killing each other out there!

[Crip lifts up Rando Sun who now has a fairly nice sized gash in his forehead from that hockey stick shot to the head. Blood begins to pour down Rando's face as Crip lands a few lefts to the jaw of Rando Sun. Rando stumbles back a little but fires back with a right and a left and an uppercut that almost sends Crip off of his feet. Rando lifts up Crip in a bearhug position and rams Crip spine-first into the steel turnbuckle post. Crip howls in pain as Rando Sun walks over to the trashcan that Crip brought out. Rando wedges the trashcan between the mat and the bottom rope with the bottom of the trashcan hanging towards the outside over the apron. Rando spits on Crip and lifts him up and delivers a spinebuster and keeps his hold on Crip's legs and slingshots him head first into the bottom of the trash can. Crip falls to the floor flopping around holding his face. Rando unwedges the trashcan and begins to smash it across the body of Crip. Rando looks under the ring and pulls out a large pane of glass and a table. Rando Sun goes to set up the table, but Crip sucker-punches Rando in the jaw and smashes Rando's face off the fan barrier. Crip goes under the ring again and pulls out a trashcan lid and begins to wear Rando Sun out with it. Crip shouts a few curse words at Rando before smashing and denting the lid over Rando's head. Rando falls to the mat as blood continues to pour from his head. Crip sets up the table and lifts up Rando sticking his head between his legs possibly going for a powerbomb.]

Jessie Jobber: WOOO A TABLE!

John Cartwright: Jesus, calm down Jessie… you act like you haven't seen one before. Hell, we are sitting behind one you idiot.

Jessie Jobber: Look… don't ruin my fun with the bitter facts of reality Johnny… this is Strike Fantasy Towers, and tables aren't used that often.

John Cartwright: True, but…

Jessie Jobber: Shut up!

[Crip goes to lift up Rando, but Rando reverses and back body drops Crip onto and through the table. Rando knowing that Crip wont be down too long due to the lack of power of the last move, scurries to the times keeper and snatches the chair and runs a beeline straight to Crip who is slowly getting to his feet. Crip turns around, and gets a chair shot straight to the face.]

Jessie Jobber: Ouchies…

John Cartwright: Rando Sun with a full head of steam and a chair just cleaned Crip's clock!

[Rando Sun picks up the large pane of glass and bridges the fan barrier and the apron. Rando goes under the ring and gets a table and a chair also. Rando sets up the table a few feet away from the "glass table" and sets the chair facing away from the table ring next to it, making a stairway or stepladder or some sort to get onto of the table. After assembling what he wanted, Rando lifts up a now bloodied Crip and pushes him onto the table. Rando uses the chair to step onto the table, standing on the side so it doesn't collapse and picks up Crip.]

[Rando Sun signals for it to be the end and lifts Crip up in a powerslam position, but keeps Crip vertical and leaps from the table and plows Crip headfirst through the glass with an emerald fusion.]

Jessie Jobber: HOLY SHIT!

[Crip and Rando Sun both lay on the outside a bloody mess in the shards of glass, Rando Sun gets his arm over the lifeless body of Crip and covers… a referee who was in the ring the whole match awaiting a pinfall counts.]

John Cartwright: 1… 2… 3!

Jessie Jobber: Wow, that was pretty damn good…

John Cartwright: What an excellent return match for both competitors, but Rando Sun comes out the victor in his return!

Jessie Jobber: Yup. Well, folks, it's that time ago when we end the show.

John Cartwright: We'll see you next week for another thrilling episode of Saturday Night Slaughter.

WINNER OF THIS MATCH: RANDO SUN via pinfall

CREDITS

WRITER OF EVERYTHING EXCLUDING THE MAIN EVENT: NATHAN GUST
MAIN EVENT WRITER: ADAM PAYNE