Doom is alone in his apartment. I at times feel alone and in need of someone to speak to. But then I find myself in solitude. I find that I like it. I know now more about why Shadow hides from life. It is in solitude that one becomes, well lets just say, comfortable. Being alone gives you time to think, gives you time to relax. It in in solitude one gets to know himself. And I have gotten to know myself very well.

I find myself always tinkering on the edge of madness and brilliance. Between showing so much enthusiam and showing none at all. Putting forth more effort than everyone and just not giving a shit.

I find myself facing the one known as Maharaja. He has risen fast in the ranks. Way too fast. And a part of me is truely jealous at how fast he rises and I still stay spinning my wheels. I feel I have been forgotten, laid to rest in my prime. Everyone looks for the next messiah, the next Mad Dogg, the next Dave Steel, but where are both of those great legends?

He looks around.

Hmmm I dont see them at all, do you? Yet the lowly bug is still here, still feeding, still surviving. And when the world comes to an end, there will be nothing left but dirt and bugs. I am a survivor thats for sure. Yet I am given little to no credit for my loyalty. I am rewarded with being fed to bigger fish to keep them complacent. While I am expected to sit down and shut up and not complain. They see my loaylty to SFT as a weakness and punish my loyalty with losses. They fail to see that they need me. And thefore should be kissing my ####ing ass every ####ing chance they have.

Doom chucles to himself.

Id like it if for once, someone said thank you Doom for sticking around, for giving the fed much needed bodies when there few to be found. For sticking with SFT when so many found it easier to walk away. But on the contrary all I ever got was a "Doom shut the #### up stop pissing people off". Funny how life turns around and bites you in the damn ass.

For example, The more I tried to give my heart to her, the more she hated me. The more I tried to be nice, the more shed push me away. All I ever wanted was her to see me. I mean really truely see me, see the person I am not the person in the ring. But she couldnt see past herself, so that means shed never be able to see anyone else but herself. And that hurt me, it showed me I couldnt count on anyone in life or in love.

I hated being weak. I hated not having the talent so many others had. But talent will get you so very far, something I guess I dont have. What do I have to offer other than loyalty and promising to always be there, week in and week out? I guess in the end that doesnt mean much here. People are so preoccupied with their own little worlds they refuse to see other worlds or points of view. My name is Albert, and as a child I would hear voices. They would call me Doom, you are your own Doom, they would say. Yeah I knew even then I wasnt all there in the head. The voices soon disappeared as most voices do as you grow up life becomes more complicated, but here in SFT things are simple arent they.

Maharaja will be shown a different side of me. Soemthing he will not like at all.